Let’s talk about suicide

Around 3,000 Australians die by suicide every year, and more than 60,000 attempt to end their lives and this week, there are two days dedicated to acknowledge and do something about these devastating statistics.

Monday 10^th September is Suicide Prevention Day and Wednesday, 13 September is R U OK? Day. This day is dedicated to reminding people to ask family, friends and colleagues the question, “R U OK?”, in a meaningful way, because connecting regularly and meaningfully is one thing everyone can do to make a difference to anyone who might be struggling.

It’s not something you want to think about anyone you know and love, but the fact is that suicidal thoughts are quite common. A national survey of Australian adults found that 13% had considered suicide at some time in their life, while 3% had made an attempt.In adolescents, the rates are even higher – with 7.5% having considered attempting suicide over the past year and 2.4% actually making an attempt.

It’s ok to talk about it

A common misconception is that talking about suicide to a suicidal or depressed person will make things worse. This isn’t the case. Studies have shown that talking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts or depressive feelings and can in fact cause them to decrease.

In my practice, my clients have expressed feeling relief from talking about suicidal thoughts because it is a chance for them to talk explicitly about their problems in a caring environment.

What it feels like to be depressed

Depression feels dark, black, gloomy and miserable. It makes people feel like they cannot move in any direction let alone forward. They are immobilised, frozen, stuck, directionless. They can begin to feel hopeless, singularly focused on getting through it but not able to see any light. It can make them feel lonely. It can make them feel suffocated. Common thoughts are “I can’t do this anymore.” And “I do not want to feel this way for one more minute.”

It is important to remember that people suffering depression are not lazy; they are not irresponsible; they are not manipulative. They need to understand that you are there to hold their hand through the journey; that you will not judge, push or threaten them.

How to help

If you know someone who you suspect of being suicidal, ask them directly about their thoughts and intentions. “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” Show them that you care and give them the chance to talk about it.

Be careful not to sound judgemental or asking leading questions like “You’re not thinking of doing anything stupid, are you?” Don’t tell them that suicide is wrong or that they are being selfish or are going to hurt their family.

Listen to them. Let them talk about their feelings and why (if they know). Say things like “Depression and anxiety can affect anyone at any time and there is no need to feel ashamed or to hide.” Tell them that you care and want to help.

Ask them how they want to be helped and if there is anything you can do to support them. Discuss the options for getting help such as making an appointment with a counsellor or their GP or to call a crisis line. Continue to check in on them and keep encouraging them to seek help.

Furthermore, look after yourself. Providing support and assistance to a suicidal person is exhausting, so monitor your own head space, take the time out to look after your own mental and physical well-being and talk to someone if you find yourself struggling.

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
Lifeline 24-hour counselling: 13 11 14

If you or one of your loved ones is feeling depressed, anxious or having suicidal thoughts, call Lisa at Anxiety Solutions CBT on 02 9328 5899 to make an appointment. We have a strong team of warm, empathetic and experienced clinical psychologists, registered psychologists and psychotherapists who are here to help.

By Renee Mill|2022-07-11T16:33:43+10:00September 6th, 2018|Suicide|

About the Author: Renee Mill

Renee Mill -- Anxiety Solutions CBT Director, Principal Clinical Psychologist, Supervisor and Best Selling Author -- has counseled hundreds of individuals, couples and families for over 30 years. She cares deeply about her clients and has created a warm and safe environment for all thrive. Renee has worked intensely on creating a new technique for dealing with generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety, fear of public speaking, performance anxiety and panic attacks. Renee’s other key areas of interest are depression, relationships and couple therapy, self-worth, parenting, resilience and well-being. Renee has published 3 best selling books and lectured in Australia, China, Israel, the United States and South Africa. She is well known on the speaker’s circuit and is often called upon by the media for her professional opinion. To hear Renee’s interviews or read her articles have a look at our Media Section.