So I guess you could say in a way I took the proverbial plunge and began to seek therapy for my anxiety.
Needless to say I was pretty ansy at first, maybe even a little inwardly resistant to what was to come.
I was still, after all a man, and what good was any of this going to do?
The inner doubts continued to creep in and of course the feeling of being analyzed as a “crazy person” went on for a bit. Surprisingly though, as day 2, 3, 4, and so on came along things started to feel a little bit different. I guess part of it was just settling into the routine as well as finding the ability to open my own mind.
Still, as I let go a little and approached each session with an open mind things got better.
The steps and techniques that I began to learn we’re pretty enlightening as well. I never realized how much control we have over our own minds if we are but given the knowledge and tools to manipulate them. Slowly, but sure I would find myself taking what I learned in therapy and applying it to real-life situations. It was hit and miss at first but as I got the hang of things I found what I put into practice actually working. It’s almost as if I could cognitively track the process as I went along.
I also find that I became much more comfortable with my therapist as time went a long. I never did get used to someone taking notes while I talked to them but after awhile I learnt to ignore it. Over time I realized that therapists aren’t just mysterious men wearing lab coats putting us under a microscope like we’re a freak of nature. They’re people just like us, and perhaps more importantly they’re people who care about their patients.
Don’t get me wrong it’s still odd talking to someone I have to pay to listen to whatever issues I may be addressing at the time, but after time I realized that they are sincere. They pursued this work precisely because they wanted to help people like me, and to make it known that people shouldn’t be ashamed to seek help.
In any case the process was very friendly and straight forward. My “homework assignments” if you will, were also pretty easy to put in practice.
All in all it was an easy, casual process that seems to have been less daunting than I originally believed it would be. I guess you could see therapy has not at all been what I expected, and that’s good thing.
I’ll almost be sad when it’s over, almost.